I am at home a.k.a Peterborough, Ontario for TurkeyFest. I am currently sitting at home with Miss Alyson Conrad watching “When In Rome”. For the record, the movie was her choice and I forewarned her that it was terrible, but ever since Veronica Mars she has wanted to have a sordid, lesbian love affair with Kristen Bell, so who am I to deny her this experience? What can I say I am in the Thanksgiving mood…I am also scared to share my SINGLE bed with her tonight – clearly she has a thing for blondes.

Would also like to state that this blog title is compliments of Alyson. Al is obsessed with the Adam Lambert song, but only the part where it sounds like he is saying the word “You” during a stroke…or seizure.

My dear friend would now like to try her hand at blogging  – I take no responsibility.

Hello people reading Nicole’s blog! Nicole was right, “When In Rome” is really gay. I’m way more interested in searching for a Jersey Shore Marathon, Nic is hesitant though because she often has nightmares about short orange munchkins, she also has forbidden Willy Wonka for the same reason. That hasn’t stopped her from currently trying to make her own skin orange by mowing down on a large bag of cheezies.

So normally after a night of drinking and going out with Nic, I would be fast asleep and annoying the hell out of her with my drunken snoring, however tonight we had some trouble finding somewhere to fit in. First stop was a small sports bar which praises the hockey glory days of all of the old men that now frequent the place by wearing grey trackers and smoking darts and discussing their most recent DUI’s “Two Fuckin’ Ryeburgers – my treat”. Unfortunately for the first time in my life, I felt like a creepy alcoholic grandmother since everyone in there couldn’t be older than 21, including my drunken sister who I found in the bathroom. Soo we left to find people older. On our travels we passed several skateboard riding hipsters, a local radio personality (who Nic has previously gone on a date with) , and a young guy conversing with 2 friends who said “did I just bleed on the brick?!?”- only in Peterborough! We finally found an older bar, except I happened to see my 60-year-old parents and they were probably the youngest in there and definitely the only ones with non-grey/white hair.

We realized that there are NO 25 year olds in our lovely home town except for the ones who have been knocked up – which the thought of makes us want to vomit or slice my wrists/spill my guts. In the end I’d far much rather be sharing a single bed, eating junk food and making inappropriate jokes with my best friend….. until tomorrow night when we go out again and try for best two out of three.

This is why I love Miss Conrad. Good night all. May your dreams be munchkin free.

P.S. Happy would-be-70th birthday John Lennon. This one’s for you:

Title: If I Had You – By: Adam Lambert


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