Life · Photography

My Mind Forgets To Remind Me You’re A Bad Idea


I.AM.BURNT. My G-Ma turned 85 today and dadsy and I went to my aunt’s to help her celebrate (my mom was sick…she’s a raging alcoholic)* and we sat outside because it was finally fantastic out and their place is on the lake. Anyways, since winter lasts 10 months in Canada I kind of forgot about the whole sunscreen thing when the sun is shining. Needless to say I am burnt – but only in certain regions. My shoulders and back are tomato paste, which is awesome, because when a girl wants to get some colour, it is generally on her shoulders – I like them to compliment the Snow White complexion that is happening on my face.* *

Aside from the burn (that is stinging like a bitch right now) it was a great day to celebrate my grandmother sliding into the really old years. Most days she has to be in a home because she recently lost her sight, so it was really good to see her out, sipping on a beer and just soaking in those 85 years. My grandma is quite the character (always has been) but as she gets a little older and a little…senile, she says the funniest things. Her favourite word at the moment is “twat” – yes, twat. I am going to assume that one of my two male cousins taught her that word. Anyways, she likes to bring that word out every now and again, for example: today my aunt asked her if she would like to move out of the sun and her response was “Nope, I am good…it’s good for the twat.” Apparently my grandma thinks a good dose of vitamin D does the ol’ lady bits good. Who am I to argue with someone that has been around 60 years longer than I have? Judging by the way my shoulders feel right now, I am going to go ahead and deprive that region vitamin D…  but that region should be used to being deprived things by now…

*My mom actually does not drink at all…

**Sarcasm. All I want is some colour on my face you stupid sun. If my grandma were here she would totally call you a twat.

Title: Sparks Fly – By: Taylor Swift


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