The Story Of Us Looks A Lot Like A Tragedy Now

The following came from the Blog Skinny Dip It is a list of things that the author would like to go back and tell her 20-year-old self. It kind of shows that at the end of the day, everyone goes through the same things (sorry emo teens, but it turns out that your whoa-is-me-no-one-understands-me attitude is totally mainstream. Bummer, huh?) Anyways, I realized that even though I am still in my 20’s, I have already started telling myself these things – especially one through five. In fact, I am currently getting through two and three, but I think I’ve finally got it.

What I would tell my 20 year old Self #2

14/03/11 23:57
After posting Lisa’s list of things she wishes she could tell her 20-year old self, I got inspired to start working on a list of my own. I’ve already mentioned some of the lessons I’ve learned in my 20’sbut here are a few more. I have the feeling that this may be an on-going feature because as soon as I hit publish I know I’ll think of million other things I want to say. This is a start…Things I wish I could tell my 20-year old self.

1. Just because you’ve had some bad stuff happen to you and your heart has been crushed to a million pieces, it does not mean you are “damaged”. This is a bad word because it implies that something cannot be fixed but, people heal and so will you. Whatever you’re going through now may suck but, eventually it will suck a lot less. Bad experiences will shape who you are but, don’t let them define you. Stuff happens and its painful and sad and doesn’t make any sense but, you are not this stuff.

2. Don’t make someone a priority so you can be their option. Unavailable guys may seem appealing but, you deserve more. It’s always better to be alone than to be with someone who can’t decide what they want.

3. People will show you who they are through their actions. It’s up to you to watch and listen. If someone does something that you don’t think a “good person” would do, it probably means they aren’t a good person. If someone acts like a jerk, it means they are a jerk. Some people just don’t have good intentions. You may feel that spending time with them might make them a better person, and maybe it will but, the harm they will cause you in the meantime isn’t worth it.

4. Be the star in your own show! When people try to suck you into their own drama (because this will happen) put your blinders on. This is the time to prioritize your own GOALS. Focus on YOU. DO WELL IN SCHOOL. It’s so, so important.

5. Chick Flicks lie to you. Finding “Mr. Right” will not magically make all of your problems go away and make your life perfect. All the stuff that you were hoping to fix will still be there. Bringing another person into the equation might actually amplify what’s wrong to begin with. A relationship shouldn’t be seen as a destination. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself so, work on you first.

6. For God’s sake stop trying to date gay guys. Your boyfriend has a larger collection of Madonna memorabilia in his bedroom than you did as a tween in the early 90’s. He gave you Men’s cologne for Valentine’s Day. YOU NEVER HAVE SEX. Wake up and smell the double double, tall non-fat, mocha lakka lakka lakka lakka latte. The dude is GAY.

7. Tequila will never be your friend. Neither will non-FDA approved mystery liquor imported from Israel. Just trust me on this.

In addition to this list, I also have a “5 Types of Guys to Avoid” courtesy of my mom. I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day and she brought up a particular guy (that I probably told her way too much about in the past) and she asked “What’s going on with that guy?” Actually, she used some other choice words but I am not going to repeat them on here. Like I said, I probably told her far too much about the whole thing that was this guy and I think it’s safe to say she would not call herself a fan of his….just speculating*
Anyways, I didn’t say much on the topic because for the first time I really had nothing to say because I didn’t care so I didn’t care to talk about it. Still, she felt the need to tell me what my problems were when it came to guys – and here I thought my problem was singular – I go for douche bags. Anyways, it turns out that there are 5 specific types of guys to avoid and if women did it more often then maybe mothers would not have to make up lists of guys to avoid – vicious cycle.
So here it is:
Momma Rashotte’s List of 5 Guys You Should Never Date:
1. Mommas Boys. Not guys that love their mom’s, but guys that were so pampered and reassured of how great they were while growing up that as they become “men” they are in constant need of having their ego stroked. This becomes exhausting. Once you stop the stroking watch and see how fast they stop coming (see what I just did there).
2. The opposite of number one – a guy who does not respect his mother. We have all heard that if he doesn’t respect her he won’t respect you and it’s the truth.
3. A guy who cheats. This should go without saying, but…
4. A man-child. If you are constantly asking yourself why you are reminded of your high school boyfriend when you are with him or are waiting for his balls to drop – you have yourself a man-child. When did gutless become an attractive quality?
5. The Egotistical and/or Vain guy. Maybe if he’d shut up about himself for one second you would find room in your thoughts to realize this guy is only interested in one thing – himself.
So there you have it. My mom is a pretty smart lady and I hate to admit it, but everything she warned me to stay away from she ended up being right, I should have stayed away…but then what fun would that be? I think everyone has to like at least one guy from that list (in my case I have liked all 5 and sometimes they were all in one guy) to realize a good one when you see him. At this point I think that they are mythical creatures but we shall see…
*Totally not speculating.
Title: The Story of Us – By: Taylor Swift

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