Life · Toronto

I Don’t Like The Way I Never Listen To Myself

I had a breakdown while watching GLEE tonight. Personally, this show kind of bores me these days, but since it was the Christmas special I thought I would watch. Anyways, every other number they sang made tears gush out of my eyes at an alarming rate. Clearly, I am a freak and clearly it has been a while since I had a mild breakdown – those tears were backed up and bursting at the seams. First of all, WTF? Isn’t Christmasy shit supposed to make people smile from ear to ear at nauseam? I feel like the Grinch who cried all over Christmas. Almost one hour later and I am perfectly fine…but it was touch and go there for a while. I think I miss being a kid…and I miss how close my entire family (extended included) used to feel. Don’t get me wrong, I am still close to my family but it seems like there is a distance that I don’t remember feeling before. Then again, this is my first time being in Toronto so close to Christmas. Truthfully, it doesn’t even feel like it is the holiday season. Weather aside, my head is still stuck in the summer. My mind races past Christmas and then I think “I can’t believe that it is almost 2012” and “I can’t believe I have been at my place of employment for almost a year”. I mean, I feel totally at home there but I still cannot believe my first day there was almost a year ago. Where does the time go? When I was a kid, a week would take forever to come and go and now I feel like a year is nothing. It’s a snap of my fingers. I am going to the Christmas market in the Distillery district tomorrow with Chrissy – hopefully this will get me in the holiday spirit. If all else fails, I know for a fact that there are beer gardens there and isn’t getting drunk what the holidays are all about?

Title: This Love (Will Be Your Downfall) – By: Ellie Goulding 

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