I generally hate Tuesday’s. It’s not that “start of a fresh week” that Monday doesn’t really promise but we pretend it does and it’s too far from Friday and it doesn’t have a cool nick name that refers to humping. I decided to spice this Tuesday up by giving it a huge “F-ck it”. The following things happened to me today because I am just in the “F-ck it” state of mind.
I slept in far beyond the reasonable time it takes me to get my ass in gear and get to work on time.
Once I finally rolled out of bed, I decided to watch the TV because if I am going to be late, I might as well watch Taylor Swift dance around while singing about how she is never ever, ever, ever, getting back together with some guy. I laughed to myself because I realize that most of the times I have had that strong of a conviction about not getting back together with someone, I usually end up like the one scene where Taylor is on her bed talking on the phone….only I am not talking on the phone…
I sauntered into work 15 minutes late and decided that it was very important to get right to work….and by that I mean check Facebook, write some personal emails, make myself some tea and then let out some loud sighs until my one co-worker asked me “What’s up?”
Normally, I would respond with a “Oh nothing really. Just tired”. Today was not that day. Today was a “Better question is what’s not up? Despite how much time you may or may not have to listen to me, I am going to talk to you about my stress headaches, the state of my bank account, how badly I need a massage, the guys in my life, my parents, my neighbours and if you are really lucky I may explain to you in full detail just how bad my menstrual cycle is this month….” Please note that this co-worker is male.
Hey, lady – I know you have been talking about how you would like to lose 20 pounds while you simultaneously scarf down an entire day’s worth of calories in one sitting, but I just found out that the pants I am wearing are not a size 6 like I previously thought…they are a 4 and quite frankly a little loose on me. Just thought you should know.
Normally when I get to work, I change out of my “moccasins” and into my heels. Not today. Today I wore those bad boys around the office and adjusted to everything seeming 2 inches higher. When I went out in the rain and they got soaked through and through I just simply went shoeless. Oh yeah, I curled my legs up onto my chair and let my bare feet flag fly. From the ankle down, I was bringing sexy back.
Running low on cash? Of course it’s a good idea to treat yourself to a $13 salad from the Longo’s salad bar. What is that? They price it by weight? Oh, well let me top this up with even more heavy chunks of spicy tofu.
I thought I distinctly told myself not to make plans with that boy yet somehow my fingers are typing “Tomorrow works for me!” Really Nicole? An exclamation mark and everything? You’re lucky this is “F-ck It Tuesday”.
To combat that shower you didn’t take this morning, let’s not take one tonight either.
You’re right. Breaking that pasta in half and placing it into boiling water does seem far too strenuous. Super good decision to eat that gigantic rice crispy square instead. I mean, I’m eating rice….people in Africa eat that stuff all the time and they seem to be doing just fine.
I’m watching The Voice….