Friends · Life · Toronto · Writing

Conjoined Twins

“Maybe we can meet conjoined twins”

Last night, as I was hanging out with my newly single friend, she nicely suggested that perhaps we could meet “JUST” twins and then proceeded to ask me “How many drinks have you had?” Like suggesting something so normal, like dating two guys who are attached by organs, is something only a drunk person would think up. Amateur. For the record, I had polished off two pumpkin ales and they were delicious.

Around 11:00 or so we made our way to some new pub/restaurant on College and I tried sell her on the idea of dating conjoined twins again. No dice. Some people are so unwilling to broaden their horizons. Anyways, after about an hour of being there some dude (we’ll call him Steve….he introduced himself but clearly I had conjoined twins on the brain) came over to our table and asked us to come join him and his friends. We not-so-unintentionally did the bitchy thing and checked out the other two guys he was with before we gave him an answer. “Steve” was cute, his friend Christopher (remembering a name – thanks Facebook friend add!) was cute in a hipster kind of way and their other friend, we’ll call The Asian Invasion, was….funny. Truthfully, I enjoyed my conversation with the Asian Invasion the most. I am a sucker for someone who can make me laugh and get my sarcasm right off the bat. I immensely enjoyed when he thought, that at 2:15am, it was a good idea to send a girl that he “kind of really wasn’t dating anymore” a text that read “suck it” with the intentions of hoping she would respond positively because I received the same text from someone and laughed at it. Thanks to my bottle-of-wine-deep brained friend and her skills to peep my text messages and read them aloud, our new friends were privy to a single text message that I checked prior to leaving the pub (rookie mistake on my part). Unfortunately for the Asian (and the poor girl he may or may not be dating) he doesn’t really understand the report I have with the sender of said text message and had it been sent from someone I was dating, who at 2 in the morning was looking for me to do what the text message said, I would not have responded with a chuckle. Something tells me that the Asian Invasion’s lady-friend won’t be obliging to that text message any time soon and something else tells me that he let out a big “F-ck me” this morning. In the game of dating the only winner is alcohol.


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