Comedy · Friends · Health/Lifestyle · Life

It’s my special time of the month, so I have been trying all day to eradicate all the pleasant feelings that come along with having your uterine lining shed like a dog. I made myself pancakes in the morning and washed them down with 5 gallons of milk and enough Maxidol to put me in a coma. I immediately retreated back to bed, because I couldn’t face being the kind of person who could eat that many pancakes and maxidol tablets in one sitting. When I finally woke up (for the second time) I decided to say “f-ck it” to this ongoing winter and decided to go for a jog (I have heard that physical activity decreases the feeling that someone is tugging out your internal organs while simultaneously throwing you a roundhouse kick to the back).

Photo on 2013-04-21 at 19.42 #2 Photo on 2013-04-21 at 19.42 copy

I find making this face pre-jog really helps.

When I came home, I was sweaty, so I immediately didn’t shower and sat there in my sweat. It’s kind of my version of a pat on the back or a high-five (if I was the type who liked high-fives). Since no one was around to tell me how awesome it was that I ran in the cold (which is pretty much the equivalent of curing aids, amiright) I figured spending 10 minutes with my sweaty body would make me really feel the accomplishment.

After I showered, I painted my nails pink, because I have heard that pink makes you feel better (let’s face it, when it’s this time of the month, I am an emotional monster…not unlike the Cookie Monster but with a higher bitch to tear ratio…but I probably devour the same amount of cookies).

Now I am chilling on my futon, drinking wine in lieu of eating dinner, while watching The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants II.


In other news, I recently went back to being a blond. Maybe it was an attempt to get that summer feeling or maybe it was just because blonds do in fact have more fun (they don’t), either way, I feel more “at home” as a blond. I will note, ever since I have gone back to my favo colour, people have been saying that I look somewhat tanned. Since I am not, by any means, a sun goddess (or sun tan bed goddess) and I do not like the outcome of spray tans (Oompa Loompa Orange is NOT a hot look) it must be the hair. Could also be that I walk to and from work every day. Hear me out. I recently learned that the wind can tan you. WHAT?!? Maybe not knowing this fact makes me a total dumb blond, but I did not know this before. I think anyone living in Toronto (and surrounding areas) can attest that we have had some hella wind lately. So, I am not sure if it is the hair or the wind but I down for whatever is making me look a little less Casper the Ghost. I also cut about 4 inches off the length. My momma was in town last week and was pretty adamant that I take off several inches to make it look healthier. I agreed and then had a major minor internal breakdown. I have a great fascination with long hair even though shorter hair honestly suits my face better. Breakdowns aside, I let her cut it and it was the best decision I have made in years (I make a lot of bad decisions). It looks thicker, healthier and honestly suits me more. Let’s also not disregard the fact that it is so much easier to do. Anything that grants me an extra 15 or so more minutes in the morning is my version of winning the lottery.

Photo on 2013-04-21 at 19.42 #5 copyI guess you can’t really tell by this picture. It does, however, make my cleave look lopsided. Try not to be too turned on.


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