This morning started out great. I woke up with a positive mind. I woke up earlier than normal and with an attitude that was excited to face that day and see what it had to offer. I woke up this morning and listened to calming ocean music as I reflected on the night before and the possible outcomes of the day ahead. I opened May Cause Miracles to see what day 2 had in store.
Day 2 Affirmation:
“I am willing to see this differently. I am willing to see love.”
Immediately, I plugged this mantra into my phone and set it for a 10am reminder (I find this hour to be the most common time of the day where my positivity begins to wash away as I am faced with stress at work, negative attitudes from the people around me and a general reminder of things and people I miss or wish I had). Unfortunately, my reminder did not save and I powered through the 10 am flat line by an utter distraction of work. When my “Miracle Moment” went off I was headed to lunch with a colleague. It is only the second day, but I have already come to appreciate that single solitary moment that I “drop everything” and focus on me and my thoughts. Thankfully, the guy I ventured off with is always good for a laugh and I felt any prior stress and negative thoughts melt off a bit. At around 3:40, I finally took my one minute to practice deep breathing and push away any baggage that the day had brought on. I am not going to detail the few notes that I jotted down after my minute of reflection, but let’s just say, I was having a very “void filling” day. I became aware of the thoughts that proceeded these void fillers and made a conscious decision not to repeat the same offense tomorrow (whether that happens or not is another story BUT acknowledging it is all I can ask for this early in the game).
When my day ended, I was feeling far less upbeat and positive than I did yesterday. I decided to chill with a coworker and get some grub and a couple beer. For the first time, I actually regretted having drinks. I felt worse than I had leaving work and to add insult to injury, I did not jog. Please allow me a second to be vain, but as I was alone in the elevator today and was checking myself out (don’t judge – you do it too) I noticed that my “jogging legs” were coming in. I call definition in your calves, jogging legs (some chicks also get these legs from wearing ridiculously high and uncomfortable heels on the reg). Seeing the slight definition beginning in my legs makes me want to jog twice a day. Never underestimate a pair of sexy toned legs. Anyways, where I was headed before my inner vanity rudely interrupted my thoughts was that it would have much more beneficial to me. Burning calories instead of gaining them. Boosting my endorphins rather than swallowing down what is essentially a depressant. Thankfully, I cut it off at two and made my way home. Part of me is actually kind of glad that today didn’t go as well as yesterday. With any kind of change, there are bound to be bumps along the way. I am looking at today as one of those bumps. As long as I am still acknowledging my fears and creating a mindset that is able to witness the elements that create these fears, then I am on my way to changing my outlook.
The exercise for this evening was similar to last night’s. The reader is instructed to write out the fears they experienced during the day (which were essentially the same from yesterday so I won’t regurgitate) but this time we are instructed to write out a mantra beside each fear. The mantra is “I am willing to see love instead of this”. I have not participated in the final step, which is the meditation component (which I am actually looking forward to before laying my head down for the night) but I was offered two various hangouts (of very different kinds) and I turned down both. One of those turn-downs was a boy, a boy I would not have dreamed about turning down a little over a year ago. It’s kind of amazing the people and things you get over the moment you look away for a split second. Anyways, I am tired and just want to watch some Rookie Blue, meditate and catch some zzz’s. If this is lame, then I am at peace with being a total lame-ass.
Did I mention that I got a Twitter shout out from Gabrielle Bernstein, author of this amazing book? Because I totally did.
Thanks Day 2 and here’s looking at you Day 3.
Tomorrow’s Affirmation: “Love did not create this”