According to everything I read, I did 2013 completely wrong. The one thing that is comforting, is that a lot of you probably did 2013 wrong as well. Continue reading to see what I mean.
Don’t own this jacket from H&M? WAY WRONG (and I thought that losing my job and being single for yet another year, was an indication that I did 2013 wrong…BUT apparently not owning this jacket was actually the ultimate determining factor here).
Not a fan of Hashtagging your Instagram photos to death? Get your shit together. I mean, come on now. Apparently, some of the top Hahstags were as easy as #love, #style and #igers – I am not even confident what that last one is. Does this mean I am getting….old?? WRONG.
Didn’t name your new little bundle of joy Sophia or Jackson? Well don’t come crying to me when Child Protective Services comes to remove that innocent little bodily fluids machine. WRONG.
Didn’t shoot and stab your ex-boyfriend/booty-call-till-the-end? Then clearly your name is not Jodi Arias (strike one) and you also aren’t a fan of killing (no pun intended) two birds with one stone. You could have killed your sex partner moments after coitus (like a human Praying Mantis) and became Twitter famous by getting your friend to Tweet every aspect of your weird and drawn-out trial.#SOWRONG.
Aren’t Jesus’s long-lost brother Yeezus? Or the woman who was knocked up by Yeezus? Or the directionally-named spawn of said people? Then you probably also didn’t make this video or were praised like Yeezus for losing your pregnancy weight (Bitch, please – it’s called diet, exercise and photoshop). WRONG.
As you can see, there are many ways you and I did 2013 wrong – these are just a few examples. But, if you have a steady stream of income, someone to curl up with during an ice storm and didn’t lose anyone important to you, then you rocked 2013 pretty well in my eyes. Here’s to 2014, because I am so ready for this hair-pulling-in-frustration of a year to be over.