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Thoughts While Watching The Bachelor: Season 18 – Episode 8 Part 1

So much drama this week that they had to make it a 2-night event. From the looks of things, it seems like girls crying will take up approximately 1.5 hrs, so we should be left with about 30 minutes of Juan Pablo sounding out words and trying to construct proper sentences. If that isn’t entertainment, I don’t know what is (oh wait, that would be the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother that I had to stream at midnight because of this conflicting schedule. Damn you, Juan Pabs. Damn you).

Anyway, it is hometown time and first up is Nikki in Kansas City (yawn).
Some notable quotes:

“I’m hoping that he likes gas station BBQ” – Nikki
Who doesn’t?
“You tell me what I do first” – Pabs
“I think you just eat” – Nikki
Stupid question met with a stupid answer.
I hate them both.
I want some ribs.

Nikki’s favourite pass times are eating and riding bull. Got it.

She also wants to tell the Pabs that she loves him but is having a hard time doing so….although she doesn’t understand why. I doubt it has anything to do with the fact that she is on national television and the guy that she “loves” is making out with three other chicks on any given day. For now she is just going to keep it to herself and enjoy the romantic mechanical bull ride with Juan.

Meeting Nikki’s parents was actually relatively boring. No dramz. I am sure there was some behind the scenes dowry happening though. They give Pabs, Nikki and he gives them a cow so that they don’t have to go to a gas station to eat meat…something like that.

Next up is Andi in her hometown of Atlanta, Georgia.
They go to shoot some guns.
Seriously, though. I have wanted to go to a gun range for a long time now. Finding someone to go with is harder than you would think. If a guy took me to a gun range for a first date, I would immediately start planning our future together. Needless to say, Andi has automatically become my favourite.

After about 10 hours of shooting, Juan finally hits the bullseye and they go off to meet her family.
The Pabs impresses Andi’s father by letting him know that his daughter was not worthy of Pabs sole attention until more than half of the competition had been eliminated. We have a charmer on our hands, folks!

Juan decides to prove himself by “dancing” salsa with Andi, for Andi’s mother. It looked like they were at an improv class and someone told them to act like a giant gust of wind was trying to take them away.

Anyway, Pabs sits down with Andi’s dad, makes her dad use Pabs full name when addressing him and then reassures the audience that he likes honesty. Congrats, bro. Truthfully, Andi’s family seems pretty sane. They all had reservations about Juan and the situation AND THEY SHOULD. My family would be the very same. Despite her family’s reservations, Andi believes that she got what she needed in order to say that she was almost in love with Juan Pab. Almost in love doesn’t really cut it when getting engaged, sweetheart. I was almost in love with the grilled cheese sandwich that I ate last night, but I am not running off and getting married to it. These girls! I tell, ya!

Ok, onto Pabs date with Renee in Sarasota, Florida.

Is anyone else totally bored at this point? All the dates have been so yawn-worthy. I can’t see much happening with Renee because she is relatively boring, too.

“I’m going to eat my son when I see him” – Renee
Poor choice of words…
…because now I am thinking about that damn grilled cheese again. You guys, it was so good. It was gourmet grilled cheese. Maybe I AM in love with it.

So, Renee is reunited with her son after two months apart. I am not a mother, nor have I even tapped into any sort of motherly instincts as of yet, but I really don’t know how you would explain to your child, that you are leaving them for months on end, to date some stranger…. with 25 other women. I hate to be the one to say this…but….her reunion with her son seemed SUPER forced. It was more awkward than when Juan tries to say words with more than two syllables in them.

I don’t even think the meet and greet with the rest of her family is worth mentioning. We all know that the good stuff (and further reason why Andi became my favourite) happens in part two….the fantasy suite night.

I will, however, briefly mention Clare and the introduction of her family. Oh Clare, I now understand where you got those crazy eyes from. Crazy breeds crazy and that’s all I have to say about that.

Okay, folks – that is all until Part 2! Check back for it tonight or tomorrow (depending on how entranced I am by all the Oscar fashion).


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