The Quick Recap: (FYI: Spoilers and shit) Jennifer Lawrence screams a bunch. Jennifer Lawrence constantly asks the people in her house why they are there. Jennifer Lawrence briefly shows her boobies. At some point, people eat Jennifer Lawrence’s mofo’ing baby. Almost everyone dies. The end. The Actual Recap: I could honestly just copy and paste.… Continue reading Movie Recap: Mother!
Here. We. Go. Remember how I said that eventually some of these chicks would leave me loathing my own gender? Well, Olivia wasted no time becoming that women in last night’s episode …. but more on that later. In the meantime, let’s all look at this picture of Olivia. She waits for the date card the… Continue reading Thoughts While Watching The Bachelor: Season 20 Episode 2 (or is it 3?)
Holy procrastination, Batman. Last week was busy and crummy and cold-induced. I just couldn’t pull myself together to write (except for work. So.Much.Work last week). Alas, here we are. At least this is coming out before a new episode. That’s something, right? Ok, let me start off by saying that I had to Google which season… Continue reading Thoughts While Watching The Bachelor: Season 20 Episode 1 (and 2?)
Oh, hey! It’s been almost a year since my last post. Why? I don’t know. Perhaps 2015 wasn’t really a year to write about? Your guess is as good as mine. If you are wondering though, the dream of my dog becoming a real life Air Bud – it still has not come to fruition. My dog is just a dick, I guess.… Continue reading The Bach Is Back
Or, as I like to call this episode… Stockholm Syndrome: The Tale of Honesty…and I Like It My inner bitch and utter disdain for Pabs (and any girl that could actually be into him), makes me want to jump right to the After The Final Rose portion of the night….but I will resist. So, they are still… Continue reading Thoughts While Watching The Bachelor: Season 18 – The Final Rose & After The Final Rose
Ok, ladies and gents….Here.We.Go. So, I realized that I forgot to mention that Renee went home in part one….that is how utterly boring she is. Anyway, that happened, which means we are left with Clare, Nikki and Andi. The dream team. Not really. Juan opens the show by unintentionally doing his best Ron Burgundy impression,… Continue reading Thoughts While Watching The Bachelor: Season 18 – Episode 8 Part 2
So much drama this week that they had to make it a 2-night event. From the looks of things, it seems like girls crying will take up approximately 1.5 hrs, so we should be left with about 30 minutes of Juan Pablo sounding out words and trying to construct proper sentences. If that isn’t entertainment,… Continue reading Thoughts While Watching The Bachelor: Season 18 – Episode 8 Part 1